T. 17. V. 1 – 5. Jesus: “The holy relationship is the expression of the holy instant in your experience of living in this world. Like everything about salvation, the holy instant is a practical device, experienced and witnessed to by its results. The holy instant never fails! The experience of it is always felt! Yet without expression in your relationship it is not remembered.
Thus the holy relationship is a constant reminder of the experience of the holy instant, in which the holy relationship became what it is. And as the ‘unholy’ relationship is a continuing hymn of hate in praise of its maker, the ego, so is the holy relationship a happy song of praise to the Redeemer of relationships.
The holy relationship, a major step toward the perception of the real world, is learned. It is the old, unholy relationship, transformed and seen anew. The holy relationship is a phenomenal teaching accomplishment. In all its aspects, as it begins, develops and becomes accomplished, it represents the reversal of the old, unholy relationship.
Be comforted now in this: The only difficult phase is the beginning. For here, the goal of the relationship is abruptly shifted to the exact opposite of what it was before. This is the first result of offering the relationship to the Holy Spirit to use for His purposes. This invitation is accepted immediately, and the Holy Spirit wastes no time in introducing the practical results of asking Him to enter. At once, His goal replaces yours. This is accomplished very rapidly, but it makes the relationship seem disturbed, disconnected and possibly even quite distressing.
The reason for this discord should be clear. For the relationship, with its old ego structure and function, is out of line with its new goal, and clearly unsuited to the purpose that has now been accepted for it. In its unholy condition, your ego’s goal of specialness and ‘making separation real’ was all that seemed to give it meaning. Now the relationship seems to make no sense, though only from the ego’s point of view!
Many relationships have been broken off at this point, and pursuit of the old goal re-established in another relationship. For once the old unholy relationship has been given over to the goal of experiencing holiness, it can never again be what it was before. The temptation of the ego to attack becomes extremely intense with this shift in goals. For the relationship has not as yet been changed sufficiently to make its former goal of separation completely without attraction, and its very structure is threatened by the recognition of its inappropriateness for meeting its new purpose. The conflict between the new goal and the established structure of the relationship is so apparent that they cannot long coexist.
Yet now it will not be the goal that will be changed! Once the holy instant has been experienced in the relationship, there is no going back. At this point, with the new goal set firmly before what has been an unholy relationship, there is no alternative but to change the relationship to fit the goal. Until this happy solution is seen and you have accepted it as the only way out of the conflict, the relationship may seem to be severely strained.
It would not be kinder, however, to shift the goal more slowly, for the contrast would then be obscured. And the ego would have time to re-interpret each slow step according to its own liking. Only a radical shift in purpose can induce a complete change of mind about what the whole relationship is for. As this change develops and is finally accomplished, it grows increasingly beneficent and joyous.”