Ch. 16. I. 1 – 4. Jesus: “To empathize does not mean to join in suffering by ‘understanding’ it, for suffering is what you must refuse to understand! ‘Understanding’ suffering is but the ego’s interpretation of empathy, and is always used to form a special relationship in which the suffering is somehow shared. Your capacity to empathize is quite useful to the Holy Spirit, however, provided that you let Him use it in His way! His way is very different from what you have learned before!
The Holy Spirit knows not suffering, does not understand it, and would therefore have you teach that it is not understandable! When you let Him relate through you, it is not your ego relating to another ego, nor acceptance of the ego’s ways. He does not ‘join in pain,’ recognizing that healing pain is not accomplished by delusional attempts to enter into it, and then supposedly ‘lighten it’ by sharing in the delusion.
Accept the fact that you do not know what empathizing means! Yet of this you may be sure; if you will merely sit quietly by and let the Holy Spirit relate through you, you will empathize with strength, sharing strength, and will gain in strength and not in weakness.
Your part is only to remember this: You do not seek anything you value personally to come of the relationship. You choose neither to hurt it nor to heal it in your own way. You accept that you do not know what healing is. All you have learned of empathy is from the past. And there is nothing from the past that you would share, for there is nothing from the past that you would keep. Do not use empathy to make the past real, and so to perpetuate it. Step gently aside, and let healing be done for you. Keep but one thought in mind and do not lose sight of it, however tempted you may be to judge any situation, and to determine your response by judging it.